I think i need a hormonal pill...those that helps to control mood swings. This always happens. Its so irritating. Have been feeling super down the past few days and now I feel like I'm floating.
The floating part is good ^^ but not the down parts. So maybe some mad scientist should invent pills that can keep the high-ness and keep the down-ness at bay.
let your heart out.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009Y
Drained
Met amelia the other day. The first thing she told me "哇! 你憔悴很多” Well...I know that. With all the eye bags and panda eyes. T_T
Seriously, Im getting more and more stressed and losing all my energy. I need to recharge. Lots of problems recently. Today, my dad just told me not to go to taiwan at the end of the year. It isn't the first time he told me, but today he's really serious about it. Here's what he said " Its your final year. You should concentrate on your studies instead of planning for the trip." That was all that was needed to make me feel horrible. Not exactly because of what he said, but because I know whaat he said was true and there was no way I could rebutt.
There was so much that I wanted to tell him then, at that moment. That I would concentrate on my studies, that it wouldn't affect my results at all, that I must go. So many sentences, but none seemed to be able to outweigh his one sentence.
我真的好想见你. 曾经想放弃,想忘记. 后来才学会 有时不忘记会更轻松.
let your heart out.
Sunday, July 26, 2009Y
Tired. Exhausted. Got back a few of my papers. Good thing - my maths improved. First C ever in my jc life. Bad thing - there's no improvement for the rest. And im left with prelims only before the real thing!
I haven't been studying for the past few days. This is bad. I shouldn't get pulled down by other things. Seriously....what am I waiting for? I thought I know. But then....maybe even I do not know myself that well.
This morning, I was using reading newspapers in the studyroom, my mom was packing some stuff and my dad was changing the water of our water fountain when my dad suddenly said something using the Taiwanese accent. It sounded really strange so I told him that he sounded like a donkey. And his reply was "Ya. So your taiwan friend sounds like a donkey too" =.=
Then, since he was using the vacuum cleaner to clean the fountain, my mom asked him to vacuum the whole house too. That was supposedly my job. And so...to take revenge on me, he used the vacuum cleaner to suck my hair!!!! Likely I was sharp enough to realise the monster coming near my head and dodged in time so that my hair wasn't sucked up by it..
let your heart out.
Y
基因决定我爱你
Today was a good and tiring day. In the morning, I woke up and watched the jap show that I taped yesterday. I was screaming for half an hour altogether. Just can't control myself xD I guess only one person knows exactly how I feel (hey! feel honoured that you're the one and only who understands my complex feelings ya. xD)
After that, I watched a movie online. Not bad...evoked some thoughts... Left home in the afternoon to meet mommy before we went to fetch Yan Yan to do volunteer work. Feels good to do some things that help others.
Then, rushed to cityhall (raffles city shopping centre?) to change. Went there to change cos I really like the toilet there...clean and facilitates my making-up. (Ok...that was why I was 45 mins late...I'm so sorry. I mean it!) Proceeded to Clarke Quay to meet Grace and Ee vin after that. I saw Ee vin and I was like WOAH! He certainly has grown... Poor Ee vin waited the longest for both of us. Went to Billy Bombers to have our dinner and chatted quite a bit. Feels good to catch up with friends. =)
Ee vin left to go home to mug after dinner, while Grace and I decided to talk a peek in Helipad since it was raining and we couldn't get across the river. We came out after barely taking 10 steps into the place...if u wana know why...u can try going there :]
So we braved the heavy drizzle and crossed the bridge. We found a pace with nice ambience to take a seat. We ordered one "terra cotta" their signature cocktail. And when we finished it, we thought that it was good enough to ensure the quality of our second one. So we made a second order - Blue sunset. Both are rather good. Try it if u have the time and MONEY! It was super embarassing when we realised that Grace had barely a dollar left and I had $30 left, and they did not accept NETS and we had to make a trip to the ATM. Fortunately, total was $31. We managed to foot the bill with whatever cash we had left...phew!
Felt happy today...because I got to chat with my friends and I got to drink good cocktails and most importantly...Grace and I have started our formal discussion on our year end trip! WooHoo!!
Hehe tads the term that Nicholas uses on us, his primary school friends. Ok...I know I'm not supposed to blog about this, but I doubt Inn May would read this...so it doesn't matter. xD
I'm glad that the gathering today wasn't cancelled, though only 6 people turned up in the end. Went to tampines lib to study in the afternoon. Was really stressed out by chem and I thought I was late when I reached white sands at 5.20. But there'll alwyas be later people right?? Went to Lerk thai to eat... all thanks to wisely and nic. So the person who ate the least ended up paying most and the one who ate the most paid the least =.=
Poor wisely waited for so long but left the earliest cos he had to book in. That guy will never change will he...still so full of crap. Actually all of them were full of crap. But crappy people are fun people. xD Yan Ru and I were laughing more than talking (though we talked a lot too).
We sat the MRT after eating as we couldn't decide what the main activity of the day should be. And then when we alighted at cityhall, we decided to go to the esplanade. And so we went there. I finally got to see the bar on the rooftop. Looks good.
After that, we went to CHIJMES to get a drink. Settled at a bar and got a jug of heineken, which 4 of us shared. Played truth and truth. Was kinda fun. Got to know each other better. Was happy that yan ru came, cos she's the one that i haven't seen for a really really long time (ever since primary school). Saw a different side of her today. It was good to share secrets (though that means its no longer secrets)...feels good to get things off my chest.
Nic, dick and yan ru were red after the beer. Poor yan ru...duno what she's gonna tell her parents. xD
All in all....today was a great day! Learnt many things today. I realised that JC life is really idiotic. Its good to chill out at times. Learnt to relax...learnt to share and most importantly, learnt to let go. =)
let your heart out.
Friday, July 03, 2009Y
狼狈
原来 你说的一点都没错, 我真的好笨. =(
Woke up at 5.30 as usual today. Looking forward to a short day at school and mugging. I saw Moses when I alighted from the car. He asked me"You have chinese exam too?" And I said no. Didn't really think much about what he said....I thought it was just a casual remark. And so I continued with my daily routine; went to the toilet and studied at the scrabble board. Felt a little weird that there was no one else other than me. It was then that Nicolette walked past and came to join me. Then she asked the same question as Moses. and I told her no too. It was only after she told me then I know that J2s do not have to go to school today. =.=
So....I went to the General Office to confirm. Mr yeo told me that I could go back to study then. And then he asked if I stayed in the hostel....