Went to ah yi may's house to give joel tuition today. This whole time, tuitioning joel, I've learnt of the pains of being a teacher. This reminds me of those days in Coral and Cedar, and even now, when we pissed our teachers off all the time, but they'll still be there for us always.
After that, I went opposite to west mall for lunch, then to white sands. Had wanted to mug in the lib - cafe galilee, but sadly it was full. So, back to the good 'ol mugging spot *drum rolls* MACDONALDS! haha. Mugged there for close to 9 hrs, alone. Witnessed alotta scenes, 2 of which were more memorable...
Scene 1: An old lady brought a bunch of kids into macs. Presumely a grandmother and her grandchildren (which was later proven correct). Had taken a few glance at them when they were in macs. The impression that it created upon me was when the whole bunch of them were leaving. the children all went seperate ways with their mothers home. When they said :bye bye wai po", the look in the grandma's eyes were identical to that of my own grandmother's. Just realised how lonely that figure suddenly appeared. It then dawned upon me that I haven't been visiting ah ma for ages, and every time she calls, my response is always so superficial. The sudden urge, to call her, just to listen to her voice, clearly.
scene 2: A lady and her boyfriend were sitting next to me. She was browsing through his phonebook. "Who's jane? and mia? and annonymous? and (the list goes on)" "why do u have so many girl-friends? I'm gonna delete all those numbers." "nono. That's my classmate's no. and that's my good friend's" (could hear a little giggling in his tone) "Why do u have so many good girl-friends? U only need one...." And the guy started laughing. The girl's action was funny, cute and pure (to me). Lesson learnt? Treasure. =)
"Mommy", most probably the word that I've said the most number of times in my life. Many links to it too. At times, it links to anger, sadness, frustration, helplessness and despair. At others, security, assurance, grattitude and hope. The occurance of each are almost equal. Today, she called me 3 - 4 times. Each time she'll say "why u take so long to pick the phone? where are u?". Each time, she'll add a "just who are you with?", "How can u be alone when u left your things there and came out to collect the things from me?" or "so are u alone? or who are u with now?". NO ONE! NO ONE! NO ONE! just how many times do i have to repeat that? When I got back home, I simply asked my dad if i had put on weight since the holidays cos i havent been moving round much and my input is just wow! A simple no from him. And from my mom...."Why do u ask that? Someone said that right? Who isit?" After washing my hands with this really nice-smelling soap, I walked to the living room, where I stood beside her and took a quick glance at the tv.... "What's that smell? You sprayed perfume ar? Why leh?"
Haiz.....STOP IT! U've asked me numerous times for the whole year. NO. That's my ans. Why? I just don't understand why you have to use your mouth, ears and prejudiced judgement to understand me?! 你就不能试着不闻不问,不听不想,完全地用心来理解我吗?17 years. I don't believe you don't even understand me. I really don't know wadda do. The feeling of wanting to cry but can't is really torturous!